This is a story that does not start off pretty, but has a triumphant conclusion, so bear with me for a second while I tell you why putting myself first was the absolute best thing I could have done for the sake of my kids. Sounds selfish I’m sure, I am sacrificing time with my kids to do something just for me. Here’s the thing though, it benefits everyone around me…
You are probably wondering what the heck I’m talking about, and the short answer is that I am making my health a priority. Confession time: for a long time now, I have not been responsible about my health, and being a Type 1 Diabetic, this was a reckless way to live. After my kids were born, and up until very recently, I allowed mommy-guilt to keep me from taking the time to take care of my health. There are always at least twenty things on my to-do list, and a million fun things I want to spend time doing with my kids. So I plugged away at the never-ending to-do list, convinced that making myself a priority was selfish. But I was terribly wrong, because everyone in my life suffered as a result. Continue reading
As usual in my parenting journey, I am surprised by how much I am learning from my children, as opposed to the other way around. They are like wise sages who have the most enlightened insights. I often wonder if they are old souls, or some kind of angel on earth, here to show me the meaning of it all.
I tend to feel that I should be guiding them, and protecting them. Or at least teaching them how to defend themselves against the unpleasantness in the world when I can’t be there to shield them. But they are so full of hope, that I am reluctant to expose them to harsh realities and rob them of their innocence. So I try to cast things in a positive light, which is how I do things generally speaking these days. Even when we are trying to understand a bad situation, I usually use it as a teachable moment and find something that can be learned. Continue reading
I recently had an opportunity to attend an enlightening seminar led by an adult with ADHD, who told an encouraging story about his success in life, despite his affliction. He has a loving wife, two beautiful children, and a successful career in which he finds fulfillment. He started off the discussion by asking the group whether we consider ADHD to be a good thing or a bad thing. It seemed like an odd question at first, who would wish for the struggles that come along with this disorder? But it wasn’t long before I understood where he was going with this, and my answer was that it is definitely a good thing! My son is wildly imaginative, his stories and ideas amaze and astound me every day. And although he struggles greatly with ADHD and has trouble focusing, he becomes incredibly focused on subjects of interest and has a hunger for knowledge and a deep curiosity for the world around him. He is the life of the party, he will be your friend instantly before even learning your name, and he is the most loving and affectionate kid I’ve ever known. If ADHD is part of what makes him special, then I love every bit of him. But this was not always the case… Continue reading
While on my journey to a better place emotionally, I came to some realizations about the way my struggle with mental illness has impacted the lives of those around me. I don’t make excuses for the hurt that I’ve caused. Depression is perhaps an explanation, and it was certainly not my intention at the time, but the fact remains that I hurt people. This is for anyone and everyone who shared in my suffering.
I’m sorry for pushing you away when you reached out to help me. I may have made you feel that the help you were offering was not what I needed. You probably didn’t know how to help, and I did little to enlighten you. Defeated, you withdrew from me. I don’t blame you for that in retrospect. You may have tried repeatedly to spend time with me, but I was not interested in socializing. Eventually you stopped inviting me out. I’m sorry that I blamed you for giving up on me. In truth, it was you who lost a friend in me. Continue reading
One of the most appalling things that I experienced during pregnancy was having my belly rubbed by an absolute stranger in the subway. Like I was a Buddha. Since when has it become socially acceptable to randomly caress a strange person’s body? I can be pretty superstitious sometimes, but I didn’t realize that many people actually believe that it will bring them good luck to touch a fertile body. Maybe that person on the subway was down on their luck, or maybe they were struggling with infertility, and my belly somehow brought them hope. Either way, I will forgive them their indiscretion. I have reason to sympathize with those who experience the pain of infertility.
After a long, dreary winter that was only slightly less horrible than the last one, I am ready for spring. And that’s saying a lot because I am a winter baby and very much enjoy playing in the snow. But for the last two winters, it has been extremely cold and playing outside in -40 degree weather is too much even for me. So I’ve been hibernating and snuggling the dogs all winter, which doesn’t sound all that bad, except that I think I may have a touch of SAD (seasonal affective disorder) because of the lack of sunlight.
My peaceful and happy new way of life has been compromised in recent days because my perspective has been thrown off kilter. In an effort to regain some balance and composure, I have been revisiting some of the ways that helped me to laugh in the face of adversity. And since I feel badly that I haven’t posted in the last few weeks, I wanted to write a post about how I get centred, which doubles as a post about how I am getting ready for spring…